The Value of Low Expectations
I have been fascinated by a little train of thought (calling it a "theory" would be too formal) regarding the nature of happiness. (I have discussed this with a few friends and have decided to put my thoughts in writing). At its heart, happiness appears to stem from expectations that are met, while conversely, unhappiness stems from unmet expectations. For example, if I intend to travel to Ecuador and actually make it there, then I am happy (unless another expectation is thwarted); if I am unable to travel to Ecuador, then I am unhappy (unless a positive surprise enters my life — an expectation that I didn't know I had, perhaps?).
Thus, it appears that to increase the possibility of avoiding unhappiness, one should lower his/her expectations. Lower expecations are easier to meet, and thus, provide greater likelihood of satisfaction and subsequent happiness.
One can take this to an extreme, of course, and maintain the simple expectation of metabolism. A person can say that his/her only expectation for any given day is to metabolize, something that we can do while asleep. Thus, if that person accomplishes or experiences anything beyond mere metabolism, then he/she has had a banner day! (While this is an extreme position, I am not saying that it is wrong; in fact, in order to produce happiness with minimal effort, we should opt for this level of expectation.) In addition, please note the following caveats to my train of thought:
- I am not equating happiness with joy or contentment. The latter two are deeper experiences that exist outside the realm of circumstance. Happiness, on the other hand, is based almost entirely on the state of our circumstance.
- I do not argue that one should be unaware of his/her material circumstances, only that he/she have low expectations of them. Thus, I am not unaware of the fact that some people drive BMWs while I drive a Honda Civic. Rather, I do not expect (or feel entitled) to own a BMW and therefore, do not experience unhappiness from my lack of a luxury car. In fact, if I expect only to metabolize, then owning a Honda Civic surpasses my expectations tremendously, thus producing immense happiness. (Note that I have not reached this level of "expectations" consciousness — it's an ongoing process.)
- Having low expectations—even ones at the level of mere metabolism—do not preclude a person from making goals. So long as one does not expect to achieve those goals, he/she can maintain a consistent level of happiness. Even "unrealistic" goals do not preclude happiness. For example, one can maintain the goal of winning the Nobel Prize in Literature (and keep writing to that end) without expecting to do so. In fact, if one's expectation is just to metabolize, then merely writing a page of prose is an achievement and a cause for celebration!
- Finally, while low levels of expectations are helpful in curbing envy, they do not justify acts which would otherwise be construed as unjust or tyrannical. Thus, if someone is thrown in jail merely for expressing his/her political views and that person lowers his/her expectations in order to cope (after all, metabolism can still be performed while incarcerated), the original tyranny remains and should be criticized by advocates of liberty.
I propose that everyone take a crack at living lives of low expecations. Doing so, I hypothesize, would have the dual effect of lessening envy and increasing happiness.
Copyright © 2005, Kevin O'Donovan. All rights reserved.
posted by Kevin O'Donovan @ 11:42
2 comments
2 Comments:
Hey Kevin, Vic here. Well, you know my opinion on this expectation non-sense. In fact, you can expect less than metabolism. Say you are in Auschwitz, and you thought the Germans were going to torture you to death. Instead, they put you in a gas chamber, which will kill you faster than torture. You should obviously be happpy right?
But there are deeper objections. First, what's so bad about unhappiness? On balance, I am not convinced that being happy is worth having such low expectation of life. If you have high expectation, you will also work harder to achieve your goals and therefore have a higher probability of achieving it (on average). Sure, you fail sometimes, which perhaps make you unhappy. But on balance, I think you "get more" out of life if you have high expectation. Of course, there is no exact science, and it is hard to say what level of expectation is good.
Second, I am not convinced that "At its heart, happiness appears to stem from expectations that are met." Suppose that my expectation is to be fabulously rich. I will work very hard to be rich, but the combination of my expectation of success and my hard work will give me happiness, even before I succeed. Sure, people are happy when they reach their goal, but they are also happy as they work toward that goal. I would argue that even if they fail once or twice, they are not necessarily unhappy. They will go on and fight another day. Your theory comes into play when people fail repeatedly because they set too high of an expectation. If you still expect the same thing, you will be very unhappy.
anyway, there's more, but i will talk to you tomorrow. Tomorrow, i am having dinner with my parents between 5:30 and 7 midwest time, but any time before or after is fine. I am in Chicago, but my cell is still Seattle.
Ah, the Nazi example. First of all, it is true that one can expect less than metabolism; notably, one can expect to die, and many would desire death over torture. In the example you cite, I concede that "happiness" is an inappropriate term; however, would you not agree that one could be less unhappy? If I thought that I was going to be tortured for hours or days but later discovered that I would die quickly, would not my situation be relatively "better" (though still awful in relation to most other circumstances)?
In regards to your second paragraph, I believe that we have different ideas regarding "expectations" and "goals." I argued that having low expectations does not preclude one from having goals (even high ones); rather, one should not expect (anticipate, feel entitled) to achieve those goals. If one does, in fact, achieve a certain goal, then he/she can be very happy; if one does not, then he/she can avoid utter despair (and not spend too much time bemoaning his/her fate). I think that while I interpret "expectation" to mean entitlement, you interpret it to mean goal. I am in complete agreement that we should have goals...just not any sense of entitlement to achieve those goals.
In terms of your third point, I believe that you are taking a "progressive" view of expectations, meaning that so long as one is making meaningful progress towards an end goal, then he/she is happy. I completely agree. If a person wants to make $1,000,000.00 (to use your example of wealth) and manages to make (and save) $200,000.00 in one year, then he/she is well on the way to meeting the final expecations and can feel happy. One can have "mini-expectations" along the way, and so long as one is making progress, then he/she is happy. However, if that person loses money in the first year, then he/she is likely to be unhappy. My original theory still holds.
Talk to you soon!
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